![]() ![]() Agree that your relationship is important and that you both want to restore mutual positive feelings. For example, take a moment to check-in with each other about another project that is going well.Ĭommit to a shared relationship goal. If there is not the opportunity for a physical time-out, try a brief topic change, which has been demonstrated to reduce physiological arousal during conflict and promote positive emotions. If time is of the essence, even something like a coffee break can help ease the tension. Set a meeting a couple of days out to let your emotions cool off. You want to immediately acknowledge the tension and allow each other to express negative feelings, but it’s important you also emphasize your positive feelings about the future of the relationship: “I know that we are not seeing eye-to-eye on this issue right now, and it is upsetting for both of us, but I’m really optimistic we can work this out.” Ensure that the “rules” of your relationship mean you can express your emotions and ask about your colleague’s, knowing that they will listen without becoming defensive. ![]() To re-establish a positive emotional tone: Your goal is to create a supportive environment in which you can express your hurt and anger without further damaging your relationship. Rather, thinking of the positive history you share can help you counterbalance those negative feelings so you can express them effectively. This doesn’t mean ignoring the negative emotions you may be feeling. One way to do this is by bringing up positive memories with your colleague, which can strengthen your bond and act as an emotional safety net for your relationships. ![]() But rather than pulling away, research suggests that we’re better off resetting the emotional tone when we notice some tension. Even small issues create tension between ourselves and others, which can cause us to pull away in order to minimize feelings of hurt, frustration, and anger. Reset the emotional toneĬonflicts have an emotional impact. Based on our review, we identified the following three practices that can help you to make your work relationships more resilient in the face of conflict and everyday tensions. We reviewed about 300 studies, published in management and psychology in the last 15 years, focusing on workplace relationships, relationship transgressions, and relationship repair. We wanted to understand how relationships can be strengthened to avoid potential breakdowns, and the best ways to repair them when breakdowns occur. That’s why managers and employees need to be able to manage and rebound from these conflicts. Left unchecked, even a small conflict can spiral out of control, leading to anger and resentment. But when they fracture, even just temporarily, they become sources of frustration that harm both people and organizations. When these relationships are strong, they can be a source of energy, learning, and support. Workplaces are communities, built around the relationships we have with our peers. ![]()
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